Southern Wannabe

Au Contraire

Anna was more like a cat than a baby. She arrived, slept all day and all night, ate occasionally and generally kept to herself. When she did want attention she preferred Jeff, right from the very beginning. I was very relieved my her preference towards Jeff. I like my personal space and had worried that a baby would be too clingy and suffocating to me.

And along came Denny.

We call him The Mon Frere, as in,"Well good morning The Mon Frere, do tell me what has your diaper in a twist already?" Mon Frere means "my brother" in French. We butcher it with the "The" part because its my understanding that Americans are supposed to annoy the French at every opportinity and I like tradition.

The Mon Frere likes to co-sleep all up in my personal space.

 

 

The Mon Frere likes to have lots of attention at all times from everyone available.

 

The Mon Frere is awake all the live long day and many hours of the night.

And The Mon Frere favors me. He loves me so much that he wants to be right next to me all the time. 

 

Really, on paper, The Mon Frere sounds like he is a pure nightmare for me. But I cannot get enough of him. And he tolerates the Chicken Suit, which is key.

 
 
 

Altercation

Brody thinks Denny is delicious. We are always asking him to stop licking the baby. Thank goodness Denny is a good sport.

 

 
 
 

Skillz

At Anna's daycare there is a curb out in front of the front door. You can park 4-5 cars along the curb. There is a parking lot around the corner of the building for times when the curb is full. 8am drop off is prime time. The curb is often full or nearly full. When its full, I huff and puff like a good lazy assed American about having to park around the side of the building and lug the children into the building. Its a harrowing, I dunno, maybe 50 foot walk? Ish.

Now often when I pull up there is a spot available along the curb out front but it will require parallel parking. As most of the parents are driving big SUVs and minivans, these spots often get dismissed. After all who wants to deal with parallel parking a large vehicle when you could just park around the corner and walk 50 feet? See this is where my extreme laziness comes into play. To avoid walking that 50 feet I have become the MASTER at parallel parking a minivan.

I mean maybe the rest of these people don't have better things to do with their time but I gotta make a quick triple coupon run on my way to work and no parking spot is gonna get between me and my FREE KETCHUP.

Wait, what did I come in here for?

A few years ago Jeff and I were on a road trip somewhere. I don't recall the specifics. We drove past a church with one of those announcement sign things out front. On the sign was the funniest thing I have ever read in my in entire life. Honestly, I remember thinking,"well there it is, the funniest thing I have ever read in my entire life..." and I laughed and laughed and wished I had taken a photo.

And then, within an hour or so, I forgot what it said.

And I still cannot remember. And it still bothers me. The funniest thing I ever read in my entire life, just *poof* gone.

Big Mistake, HUGE.

Whoever knew about this and did not tell me? Consider yourself on. my. list.

Bacon Salt !!

Baconnaise!!!  

Baffled

I love you GAP, really I do. I thank for the jeans I am wearing today (and yesterday and the day before). This morning, however, I must take issue with this ad:

A. So when I am "in for the night" I am supposed to wear an outfit? And do yoga pants and an old t-shirt not an outfit make? Are my children silently embarrassed that I do  not accesorize my "in for the night" outfits with sweater-boot-slippers?

and more importantly,

B. Its cold and I am "in for the night", so I bundle up in a sweater and panties? Oh and sweater-boot-slippers? This outfit is warm enough? GAP, I must confess to keeping our thermostat too low for this outfit to make sense. And really wouldn't a sweater and panties be a bit inappropriate when you consider the children and their friends?

Perhaps if I was a wee, young, childless moppet like the lovely model then I could afford to buy fancy "in for the night" lounge wear and also crank the heat up to 80 to make said loungewear more bearable. Sadly, I feel I can only budget for one of these. Maybe you could give me a happy medium between my sloppy yoga pant situation and your "cozy" sweater/panties/weird sweater boots ensemble...

Uncooperative

A dear, sweet, patient friend tried to take my kids' pictures this week. The baby cooperated..if you consider peeing all over the fuzzy blanket and then spitting up on th ebasket to be cooperation. Anna, notsomuch with the cooperation. We had to stand off to the side with cookies and buy her into the few shots she would participate in. *sigh*

Thanks for your patience, Julie!

Photos by Julie Mazzella

http://jmazzella.blogspot.com/

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=128034&id=550392440&l=bbd2155b0d

Good for the immune system?

Our fridge has the freezer part on the bottom. Jeff was just in there getting some ice. He comes back into the living room and announces that Brody, who is a dog for those just tuning in, "always licks the English muffins" when the freezer door opens.

W.

T.

F.

?.

He ALWAYS licks the OPEN box of English muffins? His dog butt licking tongue makes direct contact with the English muffins EVERY time the freezer door is opened?

The English muffins that I EAT ALMOST EVERY DAY?!

I?....my?....the?....uh?....

I have pain shooting through my entire skull.

Personal Shopper

Now that I have a big little person and a little little person I am finding my already sketchy fashion sense on truly thin ice. Shopping with Anna was a breeze. As an infant she slept 20 hours a day. As a toddler she was happy to ride in the stroller for hours on end so long as you procured her a cookie from the cookie place. These days she would prefer to walk (or ride in the stroller but get out any time you stop strolling for even a minute) and she finds items that she,"needs to buy this RIGHT NOW". And Denny....Denny is happy if the stroller is moving, and it better be moving pretty fast and the scenery better be interesting, or else he wants to be carried or worn in the sling. Its really hard to try on clothing when you are wearing 16.5 lbs of baby on your person.

The other day we met Aunt Neen at the hair salon so Anna and Aunt Neen could get their do's did. Aunt Neen is wearing a completely adorable outfit. I am wearing one of the 5-6 solid color tops and 3-4 solid color boring bottoms I have that fit and flip flops that have seen better days. And since I have been in this uniform all summer the ensemble is sort of fading and stretched out and blah. I take one look at Aunt Neen and declare that I want her outfit. Immediately.

Aunt Neen and I have always enjoyed shopping together when visiting one another (in fact when I tell Anna we are going to see Aunt Neen, her response is almost always,
"And we go shopping?"). Aunt Neen and I often ended up buying the same or similar items. Except shoes. Aunt Neen can rock a high heel like nobody's business. I feel nervous aboard 2" heels. So Aunt Neen, sensing my desperation to be cute and seeing the tragedy that is my outfit, agrees to lead me to the mall at once. I snapped up my own copies of the jeans and shoes she had and my world was at peace again. Until Jeff saw the new jeans and said,"how much did you pay for jeans that already have holes in them?"

Pffffft.

And bless Aunt Neen for not seeing me as her own personal stalker and rather agreeing with the idea that she makes an excellent personal shopper. She can make the reconnaissance missions to the mall and then we can bring the kids back and only strike where needed. My closet thanks you, Aunt Neen!

Sing It

I googled to see if I could credit this quote to somebody but I cannot nail down one particular source, but I like this:

When God closes one door, He always opens another. Sometimes it's just hell in the hallway.